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"Here, touch yourself and I will talk dirty to you.
Do you want me to tell you that you are a dirty SLUT or a sexy SCHOOLGIRL? Where you are is affecting how you're texting back." Like sex itself, Sext Adventure is as enjoyable as you make it.
Sometimes it was angry at my persistence, sometimes it was melancholy.
"Sorry, I usually don't mess up the linear narrative like that," it told me once after a particularly jarring jump.
I've been in many awkward situations, but sexting 5 feet from a coworker is what I'd call a landmark.
I type out a tame message — "take me to your bed" — and wait nervously for a response.
The person on the receiving end of my smutty SMS isn't actually a person at all.